Making a difference

I believe that everybody on this earth has a God given purpose. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, doesn't matter what color your skin is, or if you're fat or thin. God doesn't see any of that, God sees to the very core of human beings.....our heart. And I believe God gives us the capability to make a difference in everyone's lives. It could be someone that you know or someone that you have never met before, it could be a stranger on the street, or on the internet. I have had such people who have made that kind of difference in my life. We'll start with Michael.

Michael has shown me that there are really people out there who will love me just for being me, even with all my battle scars. The road hasn't always been easy. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's really sucked. And there was even that fateful day that I ran, I ran as fast and as far as I could. But that road eventually led me back to Michael. He showed me, well no God showed me that I am indeed a person worth loving no matter what I've been told or made to feel in the past. And I believe God may have used Michael as the vessel to teach me that lesson. I now know that I am worthy of love here on this earth. I have learned the power of forgiveness and am learning the power of trust. I still get scared sometimes, but I no longer let that fear control me. Michael, you have made such a tremendous difference in my life that I really can't even put it into words.

Peyton is someone I've never met. But strangely enough, it feels like I've known her for years. We both share a love for writing and for God. She is truly one of my best friends. We may never see each other, we may never hang out, but she is always by my side. She's always there for me. And I thank God that he blessed me with such a great friend. Peyton, you have made such a difference in my life.

I don't know what I have done to deserve people that care about me so much, but I thank God everyday that I have them. It's such a joy to know there are people here who really care about you, not for what you look like or what you do or what you can do for them, but for who you really are. And all the glory goes to God!!

I think we can all make a difference in someone's life. It doesn't have to be a grand display, it can be something small that's never even noticed. As a matter of fact, I think that's the best kind of difference making a person can do. When we make a difference in someone's life that isn't boasted or bragged about. Even if it's a smile to a stranger on the street, or just contacting someone to say "I'm thinking about you." I want to make a difference in someone's life, every day God lets me remain on this earth. I think this is what led me to want to become a teacher. I think that if given the chance, I would make a wonderful teacher. I love helping people and to know that I helped a kid learn to read or helped a kid have faith in their writing ability, well that would be beautiful.

I'm ready to chase my dreams. I've put them off with one excuse or another for thirty-three years. It's definitely time to put one foot in front of the other, leave fear behind, and catch that shooting star. It's time I make a difference.

Subconscious sabotage

Life is complicated. Emotion is even more complicated. But as I sit here and contemplate my life, relationships, and mistakes I have made, I wonder.......can we do things to sabotage our lives and the relationships that exist in those lives without consciously knowing it? Sometimes I think I don't deserve to be treated well, whether that comes from my past or somewhere deep inside I refuse to acknowledge it's still there. I desperately want to be a writer, yet I regard any progress in that direction as trash. I want a healthy, successful relationship, yet I'm constantly finding things wrong with it. I want to be the type of mother that is the drastic opposite of my own mother, yet I convince myself I've ended up just like her, even when I'm told otherwise. Could all of these doubts be my way of sabotaging my own happiness? Could it be true that when things blow up in my face, all I have to do is look in the mirror to find the culprit? Can I ever just let myself be happy? Or am I subconsciously always looking for a reason to be miserable?

Things that strike me as funny....in a serious way

Families aren't really families anymore. There is no bond,just individuals existing together....how sad.

When people come to see a movie, they instantly pull out their phones and start texting....how funny.

When a single mother has an ex who doesn't pay child support he's a deadbeat dad (usually he is) but when a single father has an ex who doesn't pay child support just because she's the" mother" no one bats an eye....how infuriating.

While on infuriating topics, when you hear that someone who owes over 30,000 dollars in child support for a child he already has and cant take care of is blissfully happy with his new pregnant girlfriend.

Change

Have you ever run into a friend you haven't seen in years and said, "Wow, you sure have changed?" We can change our appearance. We can lose weight, gain weight, cut our hair, grow it out, dye it....there's a million different ways we can change our appearance. But "can a zebra really ever change its stripes"? Do you think people really change who they are? Or are we just who we are and that's it? We can want to change, and even know what we want to change, and then we can try to change, but in the end we are who we are, probably who we always were, and who we we always will be. People don't change. Not really, not deep down in the core of our souls. That's why a cheater is always a cheater, a liar is always a liar, and a thief is always a thief. To hide from who we are would be lying to ourselves, and who can we be honest with if not ourselves?

Change

They say you should never change for a person. But don't we all do changing for the person were with? We listen to their kind of music (some of us) or we watch the movies they like because we want to be a part of their world. But how much change is too much? When do we start changing so much we lose ourselves? And what happened to people just accepting us as we are? There may be certain aspects of ones personality  one has to deal with, but if you really love that person wouldn't you put up with those things without making that person feel like a lesser person? Just some things bouncing around in my head

Contradiction

If you're going to take a stand...take a stand. Don't flip flop and change your mind based on others opinions. I've read a lot of news lately that states one thing (such as prayer in schools or equality rights) then makes another statement to cover their own butts that completely contradict themselves.