doing the right thing in a world full of wrong

I know exactly what I want. There are certain things in my life that I KNOW would make me happy. Like, for instance, to have a better paying job would make me happy. To be able to count on all of my friends all the time, instead of just a few would make me happy. To find a hot guy that would fall madly in love with me would make me happy. To light up a cigarette and drink a margarita would make me happy, even if for just a short while. But, I have to wonder, in all these things that I want, what does God want for me? What is going to make God happy?

I can guarantee it's not going to make him happy to be drinking, and smoking, and whoring around. These things may be "fun" in this life, but they don't make God happy with me. Doing those things doesn't give me favor in God's eyes. To be reverent, and obedient, and and obeying God's will (and not my own) is what makes God happy. And more than anything, I want to make God happy. I want God smiling down upon me. I want to live as clean of a life as I can.

I want to be married again someday. I want to meet that guy that really "gets" me. And trust me, none of the guys I've met before have ever "gotten" me. You know when you meet that guy and there's just that connection. That special feeling you get when you "think" you've met the one. That's the feeling I want again. Only, this time it has to be different. It can't just be a feeling. It has to be the whole package. He has to be a God fearing man who lives his own life for God, no matter how difficult that might be.

So, while going to have a drink or two, or deciding to sleep with a man before marriage might be the "popular and cool" thing to do, that's not what I'm about anymore. I'm about pleasing my Maker. And being a drunken whore is not how I do that. I don't judge other people who do that, but I'm not responsible for their eternity either. I'm responsible for mine. So, no I don't care about being popular with the guys or the girls anymore. I just care about being popular with God, and doing what he wants me to do.

God bless and goodnight.